Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops