What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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