You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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