What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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