A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops