How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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