- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car