neil likes pube toast

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Two women were sitting quietly.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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