A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +21

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops