What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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