What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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