How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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