Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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