How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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My mum is called Steve

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White men's rights

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops