What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What is 9+10? 19

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops