whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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