Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

thumb_up thumb_down +4

u know whats a crime? rape

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

bite me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Christ is a conspiracy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops