What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

NASCAR being considered a sport.

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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