Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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AIDS

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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