A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Albert <3 Hunter

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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What's the new green? Green

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops