How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Hey

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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