Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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kennah campion... being nice

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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