A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops