My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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