How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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