Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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