How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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