Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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