How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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