Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

Misner is a twat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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