What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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