How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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