what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

thumb_up thumb_down +25

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops