A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What is 9+10? 19

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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womans having rights.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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