Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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My children are mistakes

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Basically

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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