Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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A man goes to the potty.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Women's rights.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Cheese

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops