Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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knock,knock you suck

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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