Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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