What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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