i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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The latter three thousand pages of this website.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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