Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -23

69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops