Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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