why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -3

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The EPA.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops