An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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ert

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops