A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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