An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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