How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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You just read this ..

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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