Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

Link ate ink to make him sink.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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