Matthew Baker

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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your mum

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Your mam is so fat.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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