So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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2 + 2 = 4

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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