Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

alex is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops